You don’t have to be a natural extrovert to cultivate a positive working relationship with the people you work with. In a sense, it’s better not to be. Because getting along in the office is not really about making friends. It’s about being somebody other people enjoy having in the same workplace.
Getting along is also not about being culturally sensitive. Well, cultural stuff can be a roadblock so let’s blow through those quickly….
- Japanese people slurp more than foreigners do. (Loud eating is not some kind of micro-aggressive move into your sound space, so get over it.)
- Same when it comes to sucking teeth. It tends to mean that someone feels comfortable around you. It is NOT an expression of contempt or smugness (which in some parts of the English speaking world, it really is). And you can really hurt feelings if you treat it with contempt.
- There is a language barrier, so non-verbal things that you do -- like dropping a book on your desk or muttering under your breath or laughing loudly or singing or whistling (speaking from experience here) -- tend to “mean something.”
- Ask about grammar and usage. It doesn’t matter if you think your grasp of English grammar rules is stronger than theirs (careful with that assumption). To the extent that grammar is explicitly taught at all in America, it is taught differently in Japan. Ask about …
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- SV, SVC, SVO, SVOO, SVOC. You may have a pretty good grasp of this already, but let them teach it to you.
- How do you say past-counterfactual conditional in Japanese? (This is a VERY interesting conversation.)
- How do you say non-restrictive relative clause in Japanese?
- Ask about how our use of the progressive aspect compares with the Japanese usage of the “shinkokei.”
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- Ask what they are teaching in their classes. Ask to look at their textbook.
- Ask about a student that you are having trouble with.
- Ask any question that allows the teacher to be an expert in something.
- Notice if they have changed their hair or are dressed differently. This is fine to do for both genders, and is not considered a “come on.”
- Politics…. Asking about politics is not really a taboo (as many people think) but Japanese politics is just so uninteresting most of the time, that you want to ask something very specific that you yourself could imagine taking an interest in.
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- So, “tell me about Prime Minister Abe,” -- not so great.
- “Why do Japanese politicians keep talking about changing the Japanese constitution?” -- pretty good.
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- Religion…. Again, not actually a taboo. But be aware that generally speaking, what westerners would identify as “religion” does not feature prominently in Japanese culture. For example, a colleague once asked me to explain the difference between a Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim (a distinction which in my culture is given profound significance), and at every turn I was getting these blank stares.
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- So, “what’s your religion?” -- not so great.
- “Why do you think going to temple and getting a fortune is such a big part of Japanese culture?” -- pretty good.
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- Jokes…. True that jokes don’t translate well across culture. Not true that telling a joke is a bad idea. Jokes are a very big part of English-speaking culture, and hearing them is a little like reading Chaucer or Shakespeare: you get a little linguistic peak at the way the other culture pieces ideas together. They’re fun. In my case, I am very bad at telling jokes to other Americans because I tend to crack up before I reach the punch line. -- not a problem when your interlocutor isn’t going to find the punchline risible anyway.