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How do I get along with the Japanese teacher sitting next to me?
admin
February 5, 2017
Education Longform
You don’t have to be a natural extrovert to cultivate a positive working relationship with  the people you work with.  In a sense, it’s better not to be.  Because getting along in the office is not really about making friends.  It’s about being somebody other people enjoy having in the same workplace. Getting along is also not about being culturally sensitive.  Well, cultural stuff can be a roadblock so let’s blow through those quickly….
  1. Japanese people slurp more than foreigners do.  (Loud eating is not some kind of micro-aggressive move into your sound space, so get over it.)
  2. Same when it comes to sucking teeth.  It tends to mean that someone feels comfortable around you.  It is NOT an expression of contempt or smugness (which in some parts of the English speaking world, it really is).  And you can really hurt feelings if you treat it with contempt.
  3. There is a language barrier, so non-verbal things that you do -- like dropping a book on your desk or muttering under your breath or laughing loudly or singing or whistling (speaking from experience here) -- tend to “mean something.”
And I could go on, but I’m gonna stop there because really, you need to accept that you are going to be yourself.  And yourself was not brought up in Japan.  And from time to time yourself is going to be kind of … well … gaijin-y.   Be mindful of it like you might be mindful of a waistline that doesn’t look the way you would like or a hair that is prone to drifting out of place, but do not obsess over all those ways in which you might offend people.   INSTEAD, what you are going for is an impression of you that goes something like, “Yes, well, Peter does always wear that dumb tie, but I love working with him.”  Yes it is a very kind gesture for you to give some thought towards which ties might not be so dumb, but you will never be wearing the right tie.  Focus on doing things to make it fun for people to work with you.  Here are a few….  
  • Ask about grammar and usage.  It doesn’t matter if you think your grasp of English grammar rules is stronger than theirs (careful with that assumption).  To the extent that grammar is explicitly taught at all in America, it is taught differently in Japan.  Ask about …
 
      • SV, SVC, SVO, SVOO, SVOC.  You may have a pretty good grasp of this already, but let them teach it to you.
      • How do you say past-counterfactual conditional in Japanese?  (This is a VERY interesting conversation.)
      • How do you say non-restrictive relative clause in Japanese?
      • Ask about how our use of the progressive aspect compares with the Japanese usage of the “shinkokei.”
 
  • Ask what they are teaching in their classes.  Ask to look at their textbook.
  • Ask about a student that you are having trouble with.
  • Ask any question that allows the teacher to be an expert in something.
  • Notice if they have changed their hair or are dressed differently.  This is fine to do for both genders, and is not considered a “come on.”
  • Politics….  Asking about politics is not really a taboo (as many people think) but Japanese politics is just so uninteresting most of the time, that you want to ask something very specific that you yourself could imagine taking an interest in.
 
      • So, “tell me about Prime Minister Abe,” -- not so great.
      • “Why do Japanese politicians keep talking about changing the Japanese constitution?” -- pretty good.
 
  • Religion….  Again, not actually a taboo.  But be aware that generally speaking, what westerners would identify as “religion” does not feature prominently in Japanese culture.  For example, a colleague once asked me to explain the difference between a Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim (a distinction which in my culture is given profound significance), and at every turn I was getting these blank stares.
  “While on the other hand these people believe that Jesus is actually God … well, a god but also a man … well see there’s this concept of the Father, the Son and the, um … Holy … so anyway ... that’s why they kneel and take a sip of wine and eat a cracker … cause …”
      • So, “what’s your religion?” -- not so great.
      • “Why do you think going to temple and getting a fortune is such a big part of Japanese culture?” -- pretty good.
 
  • Jokes….  True that jokes don’t translate well across culture.  Not true that telling a joke is a bad idea.  Jokes are a very big part of English-speaking culture, and hearing them is a little like reading Chaucer or Shakespeare:  you get a little linguistic peak at the way the other culture pieces ideas together.  They’re fun.  In my case, I am very bad at telling jokes to other Americans because I tend to crack up before I reach the punch line. -- not a problem when your interlocutor isn’t going to find the punchline risible anyway.  
    When I talk to Japanese teachers at our client schools, I often get the impression that the foreign teacher is something of an opaque phenomenon.  Don’t resign yourself to that. Don’t because to operate as an empowered member of the school community, you need to establish yourself as a relatable human being.  This will give you the purchase that you need to shape your role there and establish your Value Proposition.
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